And just like that another year is over. A new year and a new month really, since I didn’t manage to get a post out in January. And you know what? That’s ok. I’m doing one now, and that’s what matters.

For 2020 I have a lot of goals. No, not resolutions. Something a little less concrete than a resolution. Something with a little more give. A little more grace. In fact, that is one of the goals. To grant myself, and others, a little more grace a little more often. Because let’s face it, we could all use it.

Along those same lines, another goal is to stop looking back at what I didn’t accomplish and focus on what I have done or what I still can do.

Lastly, I want to incorporate more gratitude into my life. It is so easy to get overwhelmed by all the things going wrong or the things I don’t have, or what I haven’t accomplished yet. All too often I forget to be thankful for the amazing things that I do have, the things I have accomplished and the things going right in my life. It’s time to acknowledge the good more and to be grateful for it.

As a mother, and particularly as a stay at home mom, I am aware that my attitude towards everything will be influencing and forming the attitudes my daughters will have. I am a role model in the most direct sense of the term. It is both terrifying and incredible. Terrifying because what if I do something wrong and mess them up for life? But incredible because I have the opportunity to show my girls how wonderful this world can be.

To model positive behavior and focus on the good things in life, one of the things I want to start trying is when something bad happens is to “flip it and find the good.” For instance, I am currently recovering from a (thankfully mild) bout of shingles. It was around my eye and affecting the left side of my head. When I went to my primary care doctor and she diagnosed it as shingles, she said, “since it’s around the eye it’s a big deal and we don’t mess with it. I’ve made you an appointment to meet with an optometrist this afternoon.” She explained that shingles attacks nerves and when it’s around the eye it can impact the optic nerve and potentially damage eyesight permanently. So this just went from bad to potentially really bad. Thankfully, the eye doctor established that my eye hadn’t been affected (yet), but to let them know if anything got worse over the next few days. To my great relief, things didn’t get worse and it’s now been almost a week and it seems like I am on the mend. So here’s my “flip it to find the good.”

  • Bad = Getting shingles around my eye and on my head
  • Good = it was a very mild case! (but trust me, still not fun at all and my raging headache still hasn’t gone away.)
  • Really good = at the optometrist I found out that I have 20/15 vision!

I am taking that 20/15 vision as a sign that I have the ability to see clearly and focus on what’s important to me. That’s why I’ll be going 3G this year. No, I will not be getting a slower connectivity with my phone. 3G stands for goals, grace and gratitude as mentioned above. But metaphorically, it also works. 3G is not the fastest and not the best. But it’s good enough. It’s me. I want to be going slow enough to enjoy the moments. To take enough time on whatever I’m doing to know that it’s getting my full attention. Life moves fast enough, and it will only ever move faster. I am ok with slowing down a little and not getting caught up in trying to be the best. Instead, I am looking forward to focusing on grace, gratitude and my goals.