In an earlier post I wrote that it felt like the calm before the storm. In that post I was referring to Covid-19 and was reacting to the two large medical tents that had been erected on a playing field a few blocks away from my home. We didn’t know what to expect, but our Governor, Jay Inslee, wanted to be prepared. We had seen how bad it got in Italy and didn’t want that to happen here. Looking back on it now, I honestly thought the virus was going to come through like a tsunami. It would sweep up a lot of people at once, and then we would mostly just be dealing with the destruction it left in it’s wake. I thought it would all be over by summer. Or at least by the end of summer. That’s definitely not how it’s been playing out.
There was certainly a feeling of “calm before the storm;” but turns out it wasn’t really a storm at all. It was never that quick. A storm has an ending, and seven months later, there’s still no end in sight for this pandemic. It feels more like it has been a nuclear reactor meltdown.
This virus hit our soil and now everything is contaminated. Our economy, social justice, politics and of course people’s literal health. As of today, there have been more than 225,000 Covid-19 related deaths in this country and there’s no sign of it slowing down. And yet, nearly half of our country refuses to believe that it’s a threat at all. They refuse to wear masks because they don’t want to be “sheeple.” They won’t wear masks to help protect other people’s lives, and yet, one of the main platforms of how these people are voting is that they are pro-life. They claim that every life is sacred. And yet, we have lost the same amount of lives to this virus as the deaths from the Revolutionary war, WWI, Vietnam war, the Korean war, and Post 9/11 Ops combined. Many of these deaths were preventable. One of the stats we are hearing regularly is that the U.S. has only 4% of the worlds population, but 22% of Coronavirus deaths. This means that we are handling the pandemic very poorly. Our Commander in Chief is not leading this country away from this monster of a problem, he is walking us right into it’s jaws.
Speaking of our draft-dodging Commander-in-Chief, there is so much at stake this election. This year has been a roller coaster, a tsunami, a nuclear reactor meltdown, and a dumpster fire. Take your pick; it has been all these things and so much more. We’ve been in Donald Trump’s simmering cauldron of hate and division for four long years, and he just keeps stirring it and turning up the heat. It’s less than a month until we vote; yet it feels like it is still a year away. This time it really does feel like the calm before the storm though. I feel like everything is in slow motion and I’m just watching these huge, ominous storm clouds rolling in, and they just keep getting bigger and bigger. I will be casting my vote like it’s a brick in a wall of the fortress we are building to help protect us from this shit storm. But we know it’s going to hit and we know the date. We know it’s going to be very, very destructive and we don’t actually know when it will all be over. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from this administration is that they will bend and break as many rules as they can get away with. I swear to God it’s like Trump is standing at the Wall of Democracy with a hammer in his hand and is just tapping away at the bricks. Some stand firm, but it’s a really old wall. The mortar is cracking and a lot of bricks have come lose. A lot have fallen when he tapped. If he’s in the White House four more years I am certain that he will hammer out enough bricks that the entire wall will fall down.
How can I accurately describe what it is to be an American right now? To have lived under a president who has made a mockery of that very office. A president who has made being an American citizen something to be ashamed of. Or more accurately, something to be pitied.
I was embarrassed when George W. Bush was our president. Embarrassed that this dopey, seemingly unintelligent, privileged little white guy was somehow voted into office. In my opinion it was largely because his dad had done a pretty good job when he held that office so people figured, “like father, like son – right?” Dynastic politics at its best. At the time I actually thought we couldn’t do any worse.
How naive. While I didn’t agree with George W’s politics, he at least seemed like a nice guy. I could imagine having a beer with him and a group of friends and everyone hugging when it was time to say goodbye. But Trump? Forget having drinks with him. He’s the kind of guy you don’t even want to go near. He’s the bitter schoolyard bully who flunked a few grades and so is bigger than everyone else and uses that to his advantage to dominate everyone and everything. People only get close to him so he doesn’t hurt them. He’s the kind of guy nobody has drinks with for fun. You have drinks with him if you want something from him. And you definitely don’t hug when the drinks are done; he’s the kind of guy who might grab you by the pussy. So yeah, now we have Trump. And now I am truly mortified. Beyond mortified, actually. I am legitimately afraid that he could bring about the end of our democracy. Or at the very least attempt to start a civil war. All for the sake of his ego. It’s truly terrifying.
But the more terrifying aspect of his presidency isn’t so much the president himself, but rather, seeing just how many of our fellow Americans agree with what he stands for. So many men out there love seeing this bully on the pulpit. They love seeing this toxic masculinity being put on display every day of every year that he is in office. They love that he won’t shut up, that he won’t back down, that he doesn’t stick to conventions or take advice from anyone. They wish they could be him. They don’t care that he’s the schoolyard bully; that he’s the ultimate con-artist. They love that about him too. They wish that they too, could be that good at being bad. He is literally their idol. Nevermind that they are all “good God fearing Christians.” If there was a God and if s/he were in their lives, God would NEVER want anyone to follow a leader like Trump.
The really sad part about his followers is that they are worshiping someone who wants nothing to do with “those kinds of people.” He has spent his entire life making sure he doesn’t associate with the ‘common folk.’ He wants to project the image of success and wealth so he only hangs out with wealthy and successful people. Hate to break it to his base, but, aside from their vote, he wants nothing to do with them.
I digress a little, because what I really mean or am really trying to say is that I’m sad about the people who make up half of our nation. I’m sad about their values (or lack thereof). I’m sad that so many are so willing to be taken in by conspiracy theories. That so many have become focused only on themselves and their image, and aren’t willing to think about their fellow citizens. Apparently, that’s not their problem. I’m sad that so many people no longer believe in science. I don’t know whether that’s because they are too deep in their faith and it tells them that science is bad, or whether it’s because they aren’t smart enough to understand it. Either way, it’s sad. America has failed these people. And these people in turn are failing America.
It’s really hard to be optimistic right now. It’s hard to describe the stress of living through these times. The stress of the news cycle. Every day a new story breaks that in any other year would have been noteworthy. But this year, it’s every day. And it’s exhausting. We can’t handle it. We want it to stop. If nothing else, we need someone else in office to make this all stop. We need a president who can bring stability. Who will follow the rules. Who won’t use Twitter as an official platform. We need to be able to trust the news. To trust science. To trust the President. When you don’t have trust in anything, you have chaos. Insanity. And that is what we are living through right now.
As I write, there have been record turnouts at the polls across the nation. People in Georgia have waited in lines that were frequently longer than five hours before they could vote. Washington has already collected more than 60k ballots and it’s still two weeks until the election. People are making it clear that they want their voices to be heard. And yet, this is the first election in my life where one of the candidates has already made clear that they will see the vote as invalid if they don’t win. It’s the first time there is a person who might not honor the vote and the will of the people.
Yesterday the senate pushed through their Supreme Court Nomination of Amy Coney Barrett. I could write an entire post about how I feel on that topic, but I will say that I am legitimately worried that Trump’s administration will somehow contest the validity of the election and leave it up to the court to decide. And now that his newest puppet is in place, we can be fairly certain that they will side with Trump. In my wildest conspiracy theories (because yes, we now all are thinking about them all the time), I worry that Antifa (read: right wing agitators/White male domestic terrorists) will set off a series of bombs in various cities and Trump will declare a National emergency and somehow cancel the election or take out Joe Biden before a new election can be established. My mind is seriously all over the place. Total chaos. Thanks Trump.
If there is a positive side to this, it’s that our eyes have been opened as a nation. We now see just how fragile our democracy really is. We are testing to see if the people really do in fact have power. Testing to see if our democracy still works. And now that Trump has exposed the weakness in our brick wall of democracy, I’m hoping there is a blue wave of stone masons who can come along and fix it. Or maybe the blue wave will really be a wrecking ball that will topple the whole thing. Maybe it’s time we build a new wall anyway. One that’s made of something stronger than brick.
I will leave you with this little gem. Happy early Halloween : )
Suburban Farmer Mom 